Friday, October 13th, 2006
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2:46 am
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Its been a bad night. And it always feels like its my fault. I don't think i can be what he wants or needs. Theres no one around to talk to. I just need comfort.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, September 30th, 2006
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2:43 pm
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Okay ... so I might not have to stay at my current job as long as i thought i might have to. I'm calling Miss Amy's boss on Monday because there is an immediate position available and he told amy to have me call him! That would be awesome! I really would like to work the night shift but that doesnt start til after thanksgiving so hopefully i can start with the day and then switch to the night. Getting this job would mean i would be staying at amy's place during the week and then come home on weekends. Which was pretty much the plan when i went out there anyways.
Surprisingly Adam is more understanding about this then i thought he would be. He told he was going to be sad and miss me but he wants me to go because this is what i want to do. I'm going to miss him too and i hate to make him sad but i really do need a change and experience different things. I'm not breaking up with him we are just going to see eachother a lot less. Im just kinda excited and nervous. But i mean i'm too young to hate my job so much and stick with it. I guess i'll just see how that phone call goes.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
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4:33 pm
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I hate my new job... absolutely hate it.. i've been their one mother fucking day and i hate it...compared to this place my last job was freakin amazing! I really, really dont want to go back tomorrow... i wish i didn't have to. It didn't help that on the way to work this morning i got a flat tire... damn those freakin giant rocks that come out of no where and position themselves all nicely under your tires... Why does everything have to suck.. Well, i guess its time to start looking for another job.... AGAIN. I dont want to be a fucking diet aide anymore. I'm so sick of it. And it sucks that i never get any holidays off or anything... damn old people and them having to eat!
And there is nothing else going on to make a sucky work place tolerable... nothing else really good happening...
Ive been dreaming about you lately... I like it .
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Saturday, September 9th, 2006
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12:53 pm
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New Job. finally.
You only live once right... I thought it was a good idea to take advantage of that. So im sorry but i am.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, August 31st, 2006
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1:24 pm
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... It's so weird.. everyone is going back to school. I'm not. I feel like im making a mistake. Yeah, i dont know what i want to do... but maybe i should just go and find out then... but then again... Can i afford to do that? But the colleges i would consider going to.. probably not possible.. ya know the whole money issue and all... it sucks not having tons.
Oh well.. I'll figure something out.
It looked like i was going to get that new job but they havent called me back again and i have been trying to get a hold of them... Not having an easy time with that.. whatever it sucks but what am i suppose to do?
Might be going camping soon! I haven't been camping in sooooo long!
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(comment on this)
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Monday, August 14th, 2006
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7:12 pm
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Thursday, July 20th, 2006
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7:54 pm
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Getting my new car probably tomorrow or saturday hopefully! Well it isn't exactly new , its used but its new to me and its better than the piece of shit i was driving! It's a Saturn and its cute. It is dark red kinda maroon, 2 1/2 doors, sun roof :) Not bad on the miles. It will be a good car for me, it's small and will be good on gas. I'm excited. We put it under my mums name tho cuz i just can't pay that much for insurance and pay a loan too. It sucks but oh well.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
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10:40 pm
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I don't really have anything to update on. The 4th was fine. Not too exciting. I didn't have to work which was nice but i really could have used the money. I spent the day at the pool with Adam.. I don't think i want to get much more of a tan soon i'll be too dark! No one will recognize me! I've been incredibly unmotivated at work recently. I just don't give a shit about it anymore. I love some of the old people, they're like the grandparents i never knew. But i cant stand it. I hate training people and thats what ive been doing the last two weeks, i hate having someone who is a complete idiot following me around and asking me the same questions over and over again
'Wait, Is this butter?'
'What's jelly?'
Are you fucking serious?!!?!??? How the fuck does someone not know what butter or jelly is? I'm sorry but if youre that much of a moron then you shouldn't be working anywhere...
Nothing is happening and its making me miserable. Right now i'm just so disappointed in the way things are going. I feel like everyone else is moving forward but i'm stuck right here. Nothing is changing, and i know that if i want it to i have to make it, but i dont know what im suppose to do. I'm sick of not taking advantage of my time being young. I'm sick of pondering over things instead of just doing it. I'm sad and just sick of life right now. There's no excitement and nothing to look forward to anymore.
current mood:  disappointed
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, June 29th, 2006
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8:17 pm
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I need a new job like whoa. I'm getting payed shit and i'm fucking sick of the management. it's completely ridiculous and fucked up. Soo hopefully i can find something thats maybe closer, maybe around here and something that pays a little better.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
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10:11 pm
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There just doesnt seem like theres anything worth updating lately.
Its weird how life changes like that
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, June 15th, 2006
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9:13 pm
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Monday, June 12th, 2006
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9:51 pm
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Errghhghghgg.. I now work the 630-230 shift at work... it sucks ass.. i have to wake up at 530 in the morning... im not liking it.. it's only for three days a week tho, mon-wed. Then on Sunday i work 11-7. And i'm still getting paid the same which sucks because, i dunno i thought by now i'd get a descent raise, nothing major just another 25 cents would be nice! I'm gonna start looking for a job closer around here... or anywhere i dont care! Oh well it's money.
Wildung called me. I havent seen him in forever, he wants to hang out some time this week.. still freakin gorgeous.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
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10:59 pm
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I think its about time i get drunk off my ass again.. or ya know something that will fuck me up just as much. Yeah.. that sounds good.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, June 4th, 2006
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11:15 pm
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Oh yeah.. so after graduation me , adam, my mum, amy, randy, jesse, adam's mum and dad and drew ( mum's fiance ) went out to dinner at Il Forno's. Then we went back to my house for cake and champaign. They messed up on the colors on the cake. Instead of red and gray it was red and black, but hey whatever i really didn't care.. it tasted all the same! I opened presents too. I got some money which was nice. I will be putting some of it in the bank and the rest.. well i guess i'll just have to go shopping soon. I got a digital camera (yay) .. Adam was pleased with that gift as much as i was... hehe.. he's naughty. Some pretty earrings, memory foam pillow, earpiece headset thingy for my phone, and tons of flowers! It was a good night. I was pleased.
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(comment on this)
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8:11 pm
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We've graduated.. It's done. It feels so sureal.. bittersweet..
It will be strange not waking up in the morning, going to school with the same people we have been for 4 years. But whatever its time to get over it. It's time to have fun, party, do stupid things..
Everything seems like its happening so fast. Why do i feel like everything is a mistake right now? I don't know if im happy.
It doesnt matter, we'll all just disappear anyways.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, June 1st, 2006
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11:35 pm
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Graduation tomorrow!! Im thinkin its gonna be in the field house. Im kinda nervous about everything.. not so much the actual ceremony part but the fact that its graduation.
Hey people need to call me to hang out and shit after graduation... i suck with calling people becuase well i suck so call me!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
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1:07 pm
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Got yearbooks today ( i dunno i think the whole black and white senior photos was a pretty retarded idea.. they would have looked better in color.. and no one can see my bright red hair! ) Had people sign it... after that i realized how little people i actually know, whatever though, no big deal. It's probably better for me to know the little amounts and not know everyone and hate half of them.
Then it was rehersals again. I guess im kinda getting a bit sad. Just knowing that this part of life is over. The major part of being a teenager is done and i feel like i have nothing to show for it. Its scary and almost gets me teary.
I mean im thrilled that we're graduating, i'm sure there will be parts that i will miss but as a whole ... there's nothing to miss.
There is so much i wish could have happened or happened differently these years in high school. I regret and and wonder about some things, but its not like i can change any of that. Which is okay i guess. It has to be. There are so many things that i miss, things that have slipped through my fingers.. Its not even that i want it all back, i just miss it. There are moments i wish i could live over and over again forever. And then there are times i wish never happened at all. I hate letting go. But its the only thing left to do i guess.
Don't forget me after graduation.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, May 28th, 2006
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8:06 pm
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Not much to update....
No wild stories, or exciting news... jeeze what happened? I miss not having something to talk about.. oh well.. soon hopefully.
Graduation Friday. It's a nice thought. I bought shoes to go with my dress... Adam likes them ;).
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, May 14th, 2006
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9:19 pm
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Hi.
Weekend wasn't horrible, wasn't fantastic but it was tolerable. Prom was Saturday night. I didn't go. I'm not really torn up about it. I went last year i was impressed. I'm not much of the dancing type... well not in public anyways.. in my room by myself with the door shut and curtains pulled.. maybe.. Adam felt bad about not taking me. i tried to reassure him that it really didnt matter that much.. He's suppose to be taking me to a fancy night out in boston. Fancy ass dinner and a fancy ass show. He better do it. I dont want to hear him say he's going to and not. Being disappointed sucks.
Went shopping with mumsy Saturday morning. She bought me my graduation outfit. Wicked cute. I just need to find some shoes to go with it... Jeeze listen to me i sound like a girl! It's nice sometimes.
So little of school left.. It's about fucking time.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, May 6th, 2006
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2:35 pm
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I actually got Adam to get out of the house and do something with me last night! I was very pleased. We went to Laura's party thingy. It was fun i had a good time, kick ball in a skirt is interesting hehe especially when i get tackled ! Adam actually had a good time too. He said he likes my friends yay! He thinks Jeremy is pretty cool so Barbara that means we'll all have to hang out again! He thought Laura was hilarious. I'm so glad we went. I miss hanging out with people and i definitely want to do it more often, especially these gals.
Report card was good. All is lovely right now.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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